Michael Kelly – Principal at Law Offices of Michael Kelly

“Yes.  However, it should be reviewed and made certain that the half cent sales tax increase actually all goes to transit projects needed immediately and that it does not go to other projects.”

Los Angeles Business Journal

Share on Facebook

Facts: There is a 62% rate of divorce in the US. Most of these divorces are filed in January.

Few days after Christmas and one month before Valentine’s Day, the hotlines at family-law offices are ringing off the hook with unhappy couples screaming “I want out!”

Celebrity power couples who used to be the epitome of wedding bliss and fairytale romance are an upsetting attestation to the truth that when it comes to marriage, no couple is guaranteed to live happily ever after — from Heidi Klum and Seal who shared 6 years of marriage but annually made vow renewals, to Juanita Vanoy and Michael Jordan who spent 17 years of marriage and got reconciled on their first divorce filing, to Phyllis Raphael and Sumner Redstone who spent 52 years of marriage up to their senior years before announcing split.

Worst, divorce is not just painful but also a costly process, especially for the one with the most money earned. While in most cases the woman gets away with the pricey divorce settlement (Juanita receives $168 million from Michael Jordan), there were also cases when the woman (apparently more financially successful than her partner) has to shoulder the cost.

Britney Spears was ordered to shed $40,000 a month to her ex-husband Kevin Federline (whose occupation was listed as pizza delivery boy and dancer at the time of their marriage), Elizabeth Taylor paid $1 million to her 8^th husband Larry Fortensky (a construction worker), Jennifer Lopez paid $14 million to Chris Judd (her former backup dancer and choreographer), Rosanne Barr (who fired her attorney for suggesting pre-nup) paid her comic husband Tom Arnold $50 million, and Madonna shed $76 to $92 million lump sum to Guy Ritchie.

Nowadays, career women could both get emotionally and financially hurt in the divorce proceedings. Thus, the time has come for us to legally prepare for divorce before we get married. Ivana Trump advices that when it comes to this process, “Don’t get mad, get everything.”

Urbanette Magazine sat down with Atty. Michael Kelly, one of the finest family-law attorneys in the country, to talk about marriage, divorce, and pre-nuptial agreements.

Here are interesting facts we’ve discovered:

1. It is best to get married in California and Texas.
2. January is the season of divorce.
3. Hormones affect pre-nups. Seriously.

Urbanette: Forty (42) years of divorce and family law experience – wow! In your opinion, what states are the best and the worst for getting married? 

Atty. Kelly: California is the best state for getting married because it has done its best to level the playing field to ensure that spouses have equal opportunity to get divorce lawyers.  Texas may also be among the best because they allow jury trials for divorces which take all of the power away from the judge. In California, however, the judge has complete power and no jury.  Arkansas, Georgia, and Oregon are among the worst.  Their legislative record is far behind those in other states.

Urbanette: How are the laws on divorce and pre-nups in California different from other U.S. states? 

Atty. Kelly: The Barry Bonds case was in California where Mr. Bonds’ wife signed a prenup getting into a private jet on the way to Las Vegas.   The Bonds case was determined by the California Supreme Court to be an acceptable prenuptial agreement.  Thereafter in response to that ruling, the legislature set out certain statutory rules causing a seven day cooling off period before a pre-nup is good plus statutory ordering the disclosure of assets and the approved signature by experienced lawyers regarding what rights a pre-nup gives away. Everyone should be sure to know that 99% of the time, the pre-nup favors the individual drawing it up. It primarily protects the person who already owns the business, the property, the apartment building, etc.  This could include pensions, spousal support, etc.

Urbanette: How about New York? Is it good to get married in The Empire State? What are the laws that couples should be particularly aware of (like no-fault cheating, prenup rules to follow, etc)?

Atty. Kelly: New York State is an Equitable Distribution state. The marital assets and debts of the parties (marital property) will be divided in an equitable fashion. This does not necessarily mean equal, however. What it does mean is that, based on the particular facts of the case, the assets and debts will be divided in a manner that fairly represents the party contributions to the marriage. For example, if assets were brought into the marriage, but have appreciated in value, the marital portion (the appreciation) would be subject to equitable distribution based on what contributions were made.

In no fault divorce a spouse can simply claim a marriage has broken down for at least six months before filing for divorce. Prior to New York’s adoption of no-fault divorce, a spouse was required to allege and prove, at trial, if necessary, grounds such as abandonment, adultery or cruel and inhuman treatment.

Advocates for victims of domestic violence have been won over by the no-fault law. They originally opposed it because they felt the history of abuse might not be factored into divorce settlements. But as it turned out, judges are much more likely to quickly award support and attorney fees that make it possible for women to leave an abusive home and get appropriate legal representation.

Though no fault streamlined the divorce process, the temporary support guidelines are messy.

Some New York courts have ruled that New York’s no-fault divorce statute does not provide a defendant with a right to trial.  In doing so, the court ruled that a party is not entitled to challenge the other spouse’s allegation that the marriage has broken down.

I suspect that more courts will adopt the position that New York’s no fault divorce law does not require a showing of marital wrongdoing.   I think all that is necessary in order to make out a case for no fault divorce is a party’s sworn statement alleging that the marriage has indeed broken down.

Urbanette: You’ve been in the profession long enough to conclude that a great number of people are filing for divorce in January.  When did this trend started?

Atty. Kelly: For at least thirty years of my practice I have seen a reoccurring trend that January has always been one of the busiest months.  December has also been a busy month because you get many modifications of child access orders due to people wanting custody of children during the holidays.

Generally speaking, the advent of the New Year typically brings along New Year resolutions and a desire to start over and clean the slate.  Too often than not, that includes ditching your spouse and starting anew either alone or in a new relationship.

There are also tax benefits to filing in January. By waiting the whole year, you can claim your spouse’s end of the year bonuses.

Urbanette: So is January the best time of the year to file for divorce? What makes it beneficial for filing for divorce in January?

Atty. Kelly: Again, there are specific tax advantages to filing in January. If you file for divorce in January, you should file your tax return in December while still married because it allows you to claim all of your spouse’s assets. January is the best time to divorce, that way you do not endure another year full of holidays with the significant other that you are trying to leave. It gives you a new lease on life being the fact that it’s a New Year.

Urbanette: Divorce is considered as the most difficult times in the lives of once happily married couples. How can a divorce process be considered “painless” and “beneficial” to all parties involved?

 Atty. Kelly: The only divorces that are considered painless and beneficial are those where the people in general are in agreement on support, property division, child support, child sharing and child custody.  Other than that it is unfortunately too often than not, a rather painful process for both parties.  Divorce is used as either revenge, to inflict pain, attempt to financially destroy the other person, attempt to take away children, attempt to move to another state to cut the person out of their life.

There are of course exceptions, but often times divorce brings out the worst in people. My job is to help facilitate the process, and lessen the pain for everyone involved.

Urbanette: How can women protect themselves and their children during the divorce process?

Atty. Kelly: The best thing a woman can do for herself during a divorce is to get the right attorney. Check the attorney’s resume and make sure they practice what they preach. Do they write and or teach about the practice of family law? Are they on any legal and or divorce committees? They should be very well versed in the divorce process and the stator process.  The practice of family law should be a deeply engrained aspect of their life.  I also recommend going with a firm vs. a single attorney.  A firm is usually better equipped to handle all challenges destined to arise given the volatile nature of divorce and litigation as well as the actual physiology and physical stress separating causes. A firm can instantly respond to a myriad of problems including violence, threatened violence, child abduction, confrontations, bank account draining etc.  There is no way in this lifetime that a single practitioner can rapidly respond to all of these apprises.

Urbanette: Pre-nuptial agreement. What makes it a necessity these days?  

Atty. Kelly: The reason prenuptial agreements is necessary these days is that there is still a 62% divorce rate.

Urbanette: Pre-nups versus perfect timing. Pre-nups forces the couple to talk about issues that may soon arise later in their married life (money management, estate planning, etc). The relationship may still be untested and talking about pre-nups can only make the couple stressful. Is there such a thing as “perfect timing” when it comes to pre-nups?

Atty. Kelly: There is a hormonal increase of certain hormones between six and eighteen months during a couple’s courtship and preparation into getting married.  When that hormonal release stops the couple had better have developed a decent companionship relationship to make it work out. I suggest having the conversation sooner rather than later.

If the relationship is for real, and both parties care about each other they will be able to move forward in love and understand it’s for both parties protection.

Urbanette: Are there cases when pre-nups can be fought (like signed while the woman is pregnant, etc.)?

Atty. Kelly: Some people cleverly get married and cause a child to be born in hopes it is going to be a long-term relationship.  On the other side, the impregnating partner can think of it as a perfect way to get more control of their spouse.  When there is an expectation of a great deal of money being left it should certainly be kept separate because their parents are attempting to leave assets to their children and are not usually contemplating those children having to share those assets with the spouse that they haven’t know for a very long period of time.

Urbanette: Do you have tips for making a fair and lasting pre-marital agreement?  

Atty. Kelly: The main thing that prenups do is make sure that the person marrying is doing so for love and not the gain of money or love of money. If you have the money, prepare a pre-nuptial. If you do not have the money, check and request because there is a time the pre-nup will stop being an order.

Atty. Michael Kelly is a frequent contributor to Sirius XM Radio, CBS Radio, The Huffington Post, as well as numerous NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX, and CW network affiliates. The Law Offices of Michael Kelly are located in Santa Monica, Beverly Hills, and Century City, CA. For more information, visitwww.cfli.com.

Share on Facebook

The recent media feeding frenzy, caused by Tiger Woods’ serial marital infidelity, has brought to the public’s attention the issue of fidelity and infidelity in marriage. The words of most marital vows include a phrase: “TO HONOR, LOVE, AND OBEY YOUR SPOUSE UNTIL DEATH DO YOU SO PART,” or some variation thereof. The seriousness of that oath is quite often lost in the moment of the marriage plans or the up-and-coming honeymoon.

When one gets married, the number of extraordinarily serious and consequential obligations grows. A short list of them is as follows: First and foremost, you are accountable to the person that you have married. Secondly, you are responsible for certain types of behavior with regard to the person whom you have married. The first behavior is physical fidelity, the second is emotional fidelity, and the third is that you fulfill any obligations that you and your spouse have agreed upon, with regard to dividing up the various functions in order to produce results you have previously agreed upon. This can be accomplished together as a team or as individuals and may include: child birthing and rearing, financial support for the individuals within the marriage (including any such children as may be born), responsible management of your emotions (especially including temper and temperament) that you exhibit to your spouse, discipline as to the things you do and do not say (which may be hurtful to the person and harmful to the relationship), discipline with regard to personal behavior and habits (which may be hurtful, harmful, or helpful to the relationship), absolute prohibition against any type of physical violence, and absolute prohibition against any kind of mental abuse (derogatory remarks, hurtful remarks, emotionally damaging statements, diminishing remarks on your spouse’s looks, efforts or behavior). You should create a statement of what you are committed to and, more importantly, there should be a statement of what you are not committed to.

Many people do not contemplate other effects that can, and do, occur after you are married to an individual. You are responsible and accountable for the effects that your behavior in thought, word and deed has on your spouse and on the fabric of the marriage. You are to be both the caretaker as well as the jealous guardian of the full meaning of the oath that you gave. There is no wiggle room for following the letter of your oath and engaging in behavior that would dishonor the spirit of your oath is unacceptable. Moral character, regarding your behavior in though, word, and being, has its effects on your marriage partner and on the immediate members of your family. You are accountable to be vigilant in regards to your responsibility for the results of your actions, be it emotional, verbal, or physical. You cannot ever use weasel words or quibbling thoughts that would allow you to shirk your duties and responsibilities or to skirt their true meaning and spirit. “MOST IMPORTANT ARE THE SPIRIT OF YOUR OATHS AND COMMITMENTS REGARDING YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO THE RELATIONSHIP OF YOUR SPOUSE AND FAMILY.”

You are the gatekeeper for all of your behavior and conduct that would cause hurt or disrepute to your reputation or to that of your family. You are therefore required to conduct yourself in a manner that is trustworthy and engenders demonstrable trust to your spouse. You must at all times conduct yourself in a manner that will bring honor and pride about your actions and what you stand for regarding your life, which has now been bound to another person. This is a requirement of your life: that you behave in a manner that speaks or gives evidence of the highest integrity with regard to you, your spouse, and your family. Your conduct in this particular framework means in thoughts, words, and deeds. You cannot be a person who lies, cheats or steals and you cannot “ASSOCIATE WITH PEOPLE THAT LIE, CHEAT, AND STEAL.” You cannot have any sort of a business relationship, friendship or even a casual connection with anyone that would recommend, participate, or urge you to conduct yourself in any manner having to do with lying, cheating, stealing or infidelity of any kind. Association with individuals who put temptation in your path or individuals who suggest and give you the opportunity to do any of those things cannot occur.

You must be crystal clear with regard to the devastating, lifetime scarring and extreme emotional pain that any dishonorable behavior on your part will cause to your spouse, your children, your family, your friends, and your business. All of these statements are true whether you are found out or discovered, as were Tiger Woods and Bernie Madoff, or not. It matters not one single bit whether you are a lifetime cheater, fraud, liar, thief or not. You will know, the universe will know, and you will bring dishonor and painful consequences in the here and hereafter.

Bernie Madoff was the largest serial liar in America’s financial history. It made no matter whether he gave generously to charities or not, it is certainly much easier to give to charity other people’s money when you do not have to earn it yourself. A couplel positive examples of the opposite behavior are Warren Buffet and Bill Gates. The untold harm and agony that Bernie Madoff brought to thousands of people through 50 billion dollars worth of fraudulent behavior is both beyond belief and incalculable. He stole people’s futures. He stole their lifestyle. He financially and emotionally injured, incalculably, little people and destroyed the trust that people put in him and in our financial system. He destroyed their future so that he might impart to his family multi-million dollar houses, penthouses, yachts, and an extravagant lifestyle. He stole, lied, and intentionally conducted himself as a trustworthy man of integrity in order to draw more individuals into his financial trap.

All conduct has consequences. There are results, both positive and negative, that are marked, observable, and valid. These results have positive or negative effects on your spouse, your children, your family, your business associates, your business itself, and your clients. You are 100% responsible for all of the causes and effects that result from your honor, integrity, honesty or your lack of those very same traits.

In the case of Tiger Woods, for the sake of an hour or two of pleasure with ten or more different women, he has cause incalculable damage to his spouse, his child, and their reputations in the future as well as the people who trusted his behavior and paid him multimillion dollars of endorsement money. I have often heard the question asked, “what was he thinking of?” Well, the answer is most likely that it was for his individual, personal, momentary pleasure and not a thought was given to the consequences his actions would have on his wife Elin, his children, the people who trusted him or the young men and women who idolized him, emulated him, copied his work ethic, business acumen, apparent morals and family values. There is a psychological term, not in wide commerce, called Malignant Narcissism. A modest, nonprofessional description of that trait is: “Anything I want, anywhere, and anytime I want it, regardless of the consequences to anyone as long as it satisfies my momentary or long term goals.”

Some people will say that he didn’t realize the consequences. My answer to those ineffective, lame excuses would be that he didn’t care; it didn’t make a difference. To have a person be so devoid of care for other people when there have been great gifts, rewards, accolades, and honors heaped upon him is unacceptable. Momentary sexual pleasure and the ego gratification that supposedly comes with having many individuals of the opposite or same sex desiring to have intimate contact with you is unacceptable. The minute that Mr. Woods looked at what he was responsible for, who he was accountable to, what the consequences of being found out would be, and what results would be visited on his wife, his children, his mother, his family, his sponsors, the sport of golf (of which he is at the unquestionable pinnacle of) didn’t matter one single iota.

There have been other famous people who have been unfaithful and have had their defenders attempt differentiate that there is somehow a difference in how he conducts himself in the highest office of the land. They say that his destruction of the oath to his spouse, his children, his in-laws, and the whole country is nobody’s business but his own. Keep in mind that one’s conduct is dishonorable whether it is known or unknown. It does not make a difference. In the case of Mr. Woods, the women that had liaisons with him all knew that they were participating in the destruction of his oath and the besmirching of his honor and reputation. They chose to participate in an act that was brief and selfish and one that would cause unbelievable emotional hurt and devastation to others. It makes no difference whatsoever whether you know who those others are or you do not. Dishonor and a lack of integrity have a life of their own, far past the momentary act.

It is essential to realize that a dishonorable act or a act of infidelity in thought, word, or deed has a long and destructive life. Consider that there is a beautiful and tranquil pool which someone throws a stone into the middle of. The ripples spread out and out and out from the first impact of the stone. Consider the stone and the throwing of it an act of infidelity, dishonor or dishonesty. Those small ripples that are easily envisioned turn into tsunamis or tidal waves with enormous destructive power and far-reaching consequences, far beyond the miserable horizon of most of the individuals. This is all for the sake of someone’s own gratification, ego or personal satisfaction. Individuals commit those acts and have results far beyond their small, selfish, unfortunate horizons. People who bring into the marriage relationship unfaithful acts have made a conscious choice to not care and an unwillingness to be responsible for the consequences and the effects. Some individuals say it was an addiction or that their behavior was a particular kind of sickness. Sickness also has its consequences. Sickness can effect many others. Infidelity and dishonorable actions can make many other people sick.

If a person powerful beyond belief can commit such an act, millions of people will no doubt question, “why can’t I?” The why can’t I part is a rhetorical questions to give others the excuse or false justification to conduct themselves in a dishonorable or reprehensible manner. Leaders and successful people are required to conduct themselves in a manner that will honor their success, their traits, and give a positive responsible example of how people who have succeeded in life should behave.

The women that were willing, conscious participants in Tiger Woods’ dishonorable behavior are also responsible, as they are dishonorable people. It is not honorable to participate in the destruction of someone else’s marital vows. It shows a massive lack of integrity and is an example of moral blindness. You as an individual must be so steadfast and conduct yourself in thought, word, and deed that no one would ever think to solicit you to lie, cheat, steal, or give dishonor to your marriage vows. An individual who is conducting themselves honorably and with integrity would not be available for any solicitation nor would they tolerate anyone around them who was, or anyone who proposed unethical behavior.

In a marriage setting, where the quality of life and an individual’s future is supposed to be protected by the institution of marriage, trust becomes sacred and integrity becomes a requisite quality for each member of the relationship. A marriage partner who is not trustworthy cannot be tolerated. If someone is untrustworthy in the marital setting, the cost of such dishonesty can be measured in dollars, the destruction of the other marital partner’s future, the significant damage in the quality of life of the other partner and any children that are members of the relationship, and the destruction of the individual partners in the marital relationship’s future. A short, clear concept of the institution of marriage is predicated on the functional necessity of honesty. In short, the institution of marriage expects its participants to commit to a lifetime of honorable living and fidelity to one another.

Going back to the original proposition of getting married, in order to give the marital or marriage relationship a chance to succeed, marriage requires honor and fidelity as a fundamental value given to the marital relationship and the other partner as the requirement, not as an ideal. Honor and stability are behavioral characteristics. Honor and fidelity are simple standards addressed earlier in this document. On the developmental plane, the marital or marriage conditions expect that all participants strive to live far above the minimum standard of the behavior and develop a commitment to the ethical principals that guide moral actions.

Unfortunately, individuals such as Tiger Woods and Bernie Madoff have fallen far below the minimum standards of behavior involving honor, integrity, trustworthiness, accountability, and responsibility. They both have been nationwide examples of immoral, unethical, dishonest, unfaithful behavioral standards. No two individuals have ever been so markedly written about and investigated (obviously Tiger Woods’ investigation is far from over). All of their opponents, proponents, and the average American citizen are able to read and details that are meticulous, sordid and detailed. The damage and pain to their spouses, their children, their family and other individuals who relied on them is unequivocal and unforgivable. So much in the marital relationship relies on trust, integrity, and the self-policing of an individual’s behavior in spite of any temptations, opportunities, and circumstances that would cause an individual to be dishonorable or exhibit a lack of integrity to the core values of honesty, trustworthiness, reliability that are a bedrock principle of a successful marriage.

It is not possible to conceptualize a marriage not based on the marital vow that includes the words “to love, honor, and obey until death do us part.” The severity and seriousness of the concept of living a marital life that includes love, along with everything that comes with it (generosity, care, charity, and honor) and everything that it means (including the accountability and the responsibility for conducting oneself honorably) shall last for the rest of the individual’s lives until death itself takes you apart.

Caring for the characteristics that I’ve written about in this observation is first a lifetime job and a lifetime commitment. It is a day by day, and hour by hour commitment to conduct oneself honorably and responsibly, with maximum care given the nurturing of your marital partner. One must understand that the marital status breaths; it has a heartbeat and emotional content. A marriage provides security to its participants; it builds a strong foundation for the partner’s future. It is a steel wall of defense from outside intruders and intrusions. It provides defense in partnership during difficult times. It is the pillar of strength for meeting all of life’s chaotic events as well as blessed ones. It is words become real. It is words become solid. It is words that are given life and strength and future by the moment by moment, day by day, year by year choices to protect it, to defend it against temptations, to have care in the events, transactions, and relationships that are daily, weekly, and monthly presented to the individual members of the relationship.

It requires that you speak clearly and unequivocally. To communicate cares, concerns, future plans, and future engagements to your partner so that they might become participants in the intentions that are drawn into the marital relationship.
I cannot state this with certainty, but I believe that Tiger Woods’ wife Elin fell in love with Tiger Woods. She then allowed herself to become pregnant twice based on Mr. Woods’ commitment to fidelity. There is no doubt that Ms. Woods, when she pondered and considered her future could see in her 30s, 40s, and 50s, and in old age, could see that her children would be brought up in the best possible circumstances in America and the conduct of her life was designed to manage a household, care for the children, and be an available wife.

In a short matter of time, due to careless communications, cell phones, modern communicative technology, and texts, all of her thoughts, intentions, and plans of which she had given some 4 years of her life to where unalterably and severely damaged. Trust in her mate was severely damaged and, without a doubt, certain aspects of Mr. Woods’ behavior were exposed in the fashion that the accuracy of the reports were unquestionable. Deniability became not an option. Sordid reality became a fact and all for a momentary, fleeting satisfaction of several hours duration with no possible current or future benefit to Mr. Woods other than personal, sexual gratification.

It is so reminiscent of the hubris in the ancient Greek plays written 2500 years ago and in the clearly identified Shakespearean tragedies of people who begin to think that they are larger than life and unbound by the rules of law, god, and humanity. Each time those individuals, from Escalus to Lady Macbeth to Othello, came terribly crashing down to earth with the clearest message that they, too, were mortal and subject to all of the mortal rules.

Life is an extremely powerful force that regulates its own rules, which are relatively simple in expression, but not in the living. Go to some of the great men in history and read their words on honor and integrity. From Marcus Aurelius to Robert E. Lee to Winston Churchill. Read what General Douglas McCarthy wrote about honor and integrity. Read general Ulysses Grant. Men and women who lived in times and circumstances where lives were at stake by simply living an honorable life, with behaviors that were predictable. Read what George Washington said. Review Mahat, Gandhi, Admiral Nelson. Read Abraham Lincoln, Joan of Arc, Sister Theresa. These are people who lived as if their lives and the lives of the people whom they lead, served ,or worked with depended on it, because they did.

If you know that the marital relationship is a living, breathing entity that thrives and is nurtured by people who strive to keep their marital vows – live by them, think about them, discuss them, read examples of them – you will begin to see that all marriages are a continuing work, the conclusion of which is not written until one partner or the other dies and sometimes far beyond the grave. A marriage is a work in progress. Your marriage, no matter how humble or inclusive of financial abundance, can still be constructed of the finest alabaster and marble with towering spires. Your marriage, no matter how financially abundant, can be a false edifice constructed out of dung in pain, fear, and anxiety. It can be destructive to or your partner no matter how well photographed, detailed, or constructed for public consumption.

Your marriage can also be a beautiful, elegant edifice no matter how simple, how unrecorded, whether or not it ever hits a newspaper or magazine or is if anyone marks it other than your marital partner, your children, and your family. A successful living, breathing marriage, clearly directed toward eternity, will light up all around you with life, warmth, and a golden glow. Marriage, if conducted with love, fidelity, cheer and intention, can be one more example of a solid stone in the wall of an integral society. It can also be a cancerous, evil example of something looking wonderful on the outside, but doomed to crash sooner or later from the rottenness and lack of foundation, lack of fidelity, lack of care and lack of loving.

This writing is intended to cause the reader to think of the following:
1. The absolute bedrock of any marriage is fidelity.
2. Partners in a marriage need to conduct their relationships with each other based on honor, integrity, communication, accuracy
3. Marriage partners must be clear that there are consequences to the actions, activities, words and thoughts of each individual partner

Everyone takes approximately the same marriage vows, but very few take them seriously and work on them for a lifetime. Marriages need to be nurtured as any living, breathing entity should be. Charity, understanding, forgiveness, patience, and emotional control are essential qualities of a marriage. Words have a stronger effect on a marriage than almost anything else. Words create impressions in the mind of the marital partner. Words can either build and strengthen the marital bond or they can tear it down. It is essential that you keep your word to your marital partner. It is essential that your marital partner be able to trust your word, act on it, plan their future on it, and know that you will do everything humanly or even inhumanly possible to keep your word and make it law in the universe. It is essential that you not diminish your marital partner in any way. It is essential that you not insult your marital partner, their family or their work. It is essential that you support your marital partner’s purpose. It is essential that you put in writing your own concept of the marriage.

Infidelity is the single, most painful emotional event that you can visit on your spouse. The second most painful, damaging thing that you can visit on your spouse is a continual stream of personal diminishment, insults, and denigration for their looks, efforts, and what they are up to. It is essential that you get both parties to write exactly what it is that they are up to and what their plan is. Cleanliness in a marriage is essential. Personal and financial order, item placement, and location is essential to the security of the marriage. Tolerance for your partner’s shortcomings is crucial to the growth of the marriage bond. Uncontrolled emotional outbursts and temper is one of the most damaging things that you can bring to a marriage. Damaging, insulting innuendo may not breach the letter of the law between marital partners, but it most certainly damages the spirit and trust in the marriage. Gentleness is a requirement. Support of all kinds – emotional and financial – is crucial in supporting a marriage. Personal predictability is an essential characteristic that will allow trust to nurture and grow between marital partners. A partnership in any activity, no matter how small in the marital relationship, is excellent for building the relationship itself. On the other hand, some of the clear messages of infidelity are noted as follows:

• You’re not good enough.
• You’re not enough.
• I prefer someone over you.
• I prefer multiple someones over you.
• My word is useless.
• You can’t trust me.
• Your feelings don’t matter.
• You do not satisfy me.
• Being with you is unsatisfactory.
• I need more than you are.
• Your reputation doesn’t matter.
• My reputation doesn’t matter.
• Your shame is not important to me.
• Your embarrassment is not important to me.
• Our mark in the world doesn’t matter.
• What people think about us doesn’t count.
• What people think about me doesn’t count.
• What people think about you doesn’t count.
• Infidelity is a message to the world that you are not satisfying to me.
• What you think doesn’t make a difference and what you feel doesn’t matter.
• You don’t make a difference.
• Our reputation as a family doesn’t make a difference.
• I will never be caught, I will never be found out.
• I am too slick, I am too tricky.
• What I want comes first, what you want doesn’t matter.
• I can buy my way out of it.
• Our marriage doesn’t count.
• Our future doesn’t count, your future doesn’t count.
• We have no future.
• Love is not enough.
• Trust is meaningless.
• Commitment is impossible.
• Growing old together is not important.
• Setting a good example for our children is not as important as my momentary passion and satisfaction.

The cost of an individual’s failure to honor their oath is incomprehensible regarding the cost in pain, anxiety, destruction of trust, and the absolute chaos that it causes to the unfaithful person’s spouse, children, and extended family.

For information or a free consultation contact James Moorhouse at Jmoorhouse@cfli.com
James Moorhouse- Public Relations Consultant
24/7: (310)393-0236 ext. 111

Share on Facebook

To Whom It May Concern:

Michael Kelly and his team are the real deal. Let me get to the point…I was told by 3 – THREE so called “Family Law Experts” that it could not – NOT be done in regards to getting my child here with me full time in California. My child was seriously abused – including black and blue marks as well as other issues so disgusting I will not even put in writing. The District Attorney in Los Angeles said they would NOT even look at or take my case. An abused child – they said no; even with the photos and a forensic psychologist. I heard the DA myself on speakerphone. This was a very complex issue regarding jurisdiction etc…, as well as the standard child support etc…etc….This was my wakeup call.
A great Family Lawyer is only great when the can navigate through the courts and have a working relationship with them. Most family lawyers will say they will try their best…..Also some told me I could NEVER win and that I would go to jail if I tried. Mr. Kelly gets the job done. I had to trust Mr. Kelly and his staff – especially Crystal Boultinghouse and you know what I did. I was scared and gave them my trust – they said they would win and my child would never have to go back. My child now lives with me full time and only sees her “Mother” at her discretion. To this day my child knows Mr. Kelly’s name and what he looks like and always stops by to say hello. My child also will never forget what a good lawyer is supposed to do. Win! Right now you are scared to death and a lot of lawyers want your business – trust me on this one. These guys do not mess around and Mr. Kelly does not like losing.

Due to the nature of this case and my child’s privacy I am not signing this however the firm has been instructed to contact me directly to verify at any time, day or night, about the above events.

For information or a free consultation contact James Moorhouse at Jmoorhouse@cfli.com
James Moorhouse- Public Relations Consultant
24/7: (310)393-0236 ext. 111

Share on Facebook

Michael Kelly has practiced family law in California since 1969. In 2002, he founded the Law Offices of Michael Kelly, a firm dedicated to the exclusive practice of family law. Since that time, he and his firm have handled thousands of divorce cases from the most basic dissolution matters to highly contiguous custody disputes and complex financial litigation.

I recently had the opportunity to interview Kelly, who is extremely busy and very dedicated to his field and his clients. When asked if family law is one of the most difficult fields of the law to represent, the attorney responded, “Yes, and it takes a dedicated and compassionate team of people to handle these sensitive issues. Our firm is a practice limited to divorce, and is one of California’s oldest and largest divorce firms. Forty plus years, 32 people on staff, including eight attorneys. We believe we give people the freedom to start their life again, and when possible, refer them to clergy, mental health professionals or counseling, especially when there are children involved.”

Kelly has been at the top of his field for four decades, and has worked on some of the most astounding landmark cases for the firm, such as Wang vs. Wang in California. The case involved an L.A. restaurateur whose daughter was abducted by his French-born ex-wife and taken to France to live for years without her father’s consent. The restaurateur was awarded $12.4 million in damages by a California judge, who ruled the action by the ex-wife to be “outrageous.” Attorney Michael Kelly and his team fight tirelessly for their clients, but seek conflict resolution first, if it can be done.

“When someone is thinking about divorce, they should always talk to a divorce specialist, especially one that does not charge an initial consultation fee. We provide free legal advice before the divorce process even begins,” said Kelly.

The attorney has consistently received the highest ratings for family law. In family law, divorce and custody, the famed attorney is one of the most respected legal experts in Southern California. “Family law is among the most complicated areas of law and it is impossible to keep up with all the legal and psychological aspects of practice without limiting your practice,” said the attorney. “I come from an intact family, and wanted to assist people who were not so fortunate because of the stress, anxiety, fear and uncertainty that these people undergo.” Not only is Kelly professional and compassionate, but his entire staff treats every potential client with great respect and dignity, and their confidentiality is of utmost importance to the law firm.

When asked what his advice would be to potential clients who are uncertain of the first step in ending a marriage, Kelly told Canyon News, “Navigating through a bad marriage or relationship, you should always take these steps: select a psychological counselor, speak to your clergy members, make a list of the problems that currently exist, make a list of the results you want to achieve and, perhaps, it’s most important to remember that it is the time for you to exhibit your best character, courage and calm.”

Contacting an attorney is perhaps the hardest part. That’s why finding one of this firm’s caliber is so vital. Michael Kelly is an AV-Rated, multi-million dollar advocate, who has 42 years of law and divorce attorney experience. He is established in Santa Monica and handles cases around the state.

“Our firm is available for consultation to anyone who needs to speak with a practice limited to family law at no charge.

For information or a free consultation contact James Moorhouse at Jmoorhouse@cfli.com
James Moorhouse- Public Relations Consultant
24/7: (310)393-0236 ext. 111

Share on Facebook

Our head attorney, Michael Kelly, is on The Smart Show with Harrison, KPFK Los Angeles. Listen in to hear famous attorney Michael Kelly speak about:

The other side of Prop 8 – gay divorce.
The legalities of gay divorce and how the courts treat these cases.
Michael Kelly’s stance on Prop 8 and why he’s passionate about marriage equality.
Insight into Diane and Robin’s case – what can we learn from them?
Why gay divorce is rarely brought into the discussion when talking about gay marriage.

This is the video of the interview:

For information or a free consultation contact James Moorhouse at Jmoorhouse@cfli.com
James Moorhouse- Public Relations Consultant
24/7: (310)393-0236 ext. 111

Share on Facebook

Thursday September 2, 1971

There, is a bit of Gary Cooper in his walk and talk. “Wel cum te ma house,” says Mike Kelly, 32, an associate in the law firm of Lewis and Waters. He leads you to the kitchen for a taste-see of a version of coquille St. Jacques, a simmering béarnaise sauce and teriyaki beef. But he doesn’t stop with dinner, which comes to you in waves, beginning with frozen daiquiris and ending with homemade Key Lime Pie. “ You get a lot thrown at you.” said one exuberant guest. “But it’s all good stuff.”

Before the evening is up, guests get a spontaneous lesson in Shotokan karate, if they press, they get a bit of Dylan
played on guitar and sung before two mikes by Kelly himself.

Lots of Talk
Then they get a lot of talk . The hippie hegira, Vietnam vets, the virtues of Zen meditation, the foolishness of matrimony.
Kelly should know. As a bachelor Kelly has done his best to avoid it. As a lawyer whose desk is crossed with divorce every day, he is convinced of its folly. “I don’t think these are good times for marriage.“ he claims. Being self-reliant inthe kitchen could do that to a guy. “ I haven’t cooked a meal for Mike since I met him,” said Loretta Bennett, a
girlfriend. “ I can’t compete with him.” Of course not.

Opportunities to practice culinary artfulness began early for Kelly. After a stint with the Marines, Kelly became the youngest U.S. Marshall. Five years later he decided to bum around the world. He shepherded and played guitar in Australia, was a deck hand in the South Pacific, lived in Paris, London, and Rome. Since practicing law he has become vice president of a film company and record studio.

Each of his experiences helped mold the cook, think Kelly. He thanks the Marines for reversely affecting his attitudes toward food and atmosphere, having had but 10 minutes to down a meal in the confines of a Quonset hut.

Working weekdays as a marshal and weekends as a member of a rock band he turned to the slow cooking his grandmother taught him. Bread making and stews, mostly. “I’d bake all day Saturday and Sunday.” It was his grandmother in fact, who most deeply affected his cooking and attitudes. She had something I didn’t want to cut off, so I’ve carried on her style of cooking,” he said. To this day, Kelly bakes breads, makes pie crust from scratch, makes pickles and stuffs turkey with oyster or sausage stuffing every Thanksgiving.

“That tradition alone seems to pull it all together,” he said. He has fashioned his kitchen after his grandmother’s from memory. “When I walk in, I have the whole picture of my grandmother’s kitchen. It’s beautiful.”

His culinary tempo has changed somewhat from the slow dance with Grandmother’s good old American cooking, to the fast; no-time-for-nonsense cooking that comes with experience. But his philosophy that one should cook fast but eat slow prevails, even when he is downing raw eggs for breakfast or having a lone meal of steamed vegetables at night.

Fast is really fast – pita bread stuffed with cold cuts or cooked sweet sausage for a whole meal in a dish.

Or, he’ll serve steak marinated in orange juice and cooked in oil at the table, as the Japanese do. It was his travels that taught him a thing or two about artful cooking. From the French he learned that any simple food could be changed and enhanced with a sauce. That wine enhances taste of most cooked foods and the stews and sauces tastes better when flavors are allowed to mellow for at least one day.

The Japanese taught him the art of aesthetic culinary presentation. “ I pay great attention to the method of serving,” he says. The Spanish taught him about spices, which he uses in flicks and smidgens. Often a meal will consist of dishes from several cuisines. For example, he’ll serve French coquille St. Jacques as a first course, followed by barbecued teriyaki steak dipped in Béarnaise sauce or Italian tomato sauce, then coated with sesame seed. For desert, he’ll serve a good American Key Lime Pie, which he enjoyed duplicating after sampling a similar version in Florida.

Cooks With Wine

He enjoys cooking with wine, and drinking sparingly, as with all food. “I eat very little of many things. Many times I eat just for the taste.” But cooking for friends and sharing his meals means everything. “ To me, the perfect evening is when everyone contributes something, whether it’s telling a joke, helping to cook, serving the wine or just plain enjoying the meal.” Coquille de la Mer

 2 tbsp. butter or margarine
 2 tbsp. flour
 ½ cup chicken stick
 ½ cup dry white wine
 Dash garlic powder and paprika
 Salt, pepper
 1 tsp. butter
 ¼ cup brandy
 ¼ cup cooked diced lobster
 ¼ cup cooked chopped shrimp
 ½ cup peeled green grapes

Blend 2 tbsp. butter into flour. Heat stock and gradually stir into flour mixture in saucepan. Add wine and cook and
stir until thickened and smooth. Add garlic and paprika and salt and pepper to taste. Melt the 1 tsp. butter and add
brandy. Heat then pour onto cream sauce. Ignite and let flames die down. Fold in lobster, crab meat, and shrimp.
Heat thorough. Add grapes and spoon into serving dishes or scallop shells to serve. Makes 6 servings.
Steak Marinade
 ½ 6‐oz. can frozen orange juice concentrate
 2/3 cup oil
 1 tsp. brown sugar
 1.2 tsp. garlic powder
 6 tbsp. soy sauce
 2 tsp. soy sauce
 2 tsp. Burgundy wine
 1 tsp. liquid smoke

Combine juice, oil, sugar, garlic powder, soy sauce, wine, and liquid smoke. Stir vigorously. Use as marinade for strips of steak.

Key Lime Pie
 ¼ cup butter, softened
 1 ¼ cups graham cracker crumbs
 Juice of 14 or more limes
 2 cans sweetened condensed milk
 2 egg whites
 1 cup heavy cream

Knead butter into crumbs and pat evenly into 9‐in pie plate. Bake at 325 deg. 10‐12 min. Cool Gradually beat juice into condensed milk, adding more juice to taste, if necessary. Beat egg white and fold into milk mixture. Turn into cooled pie shell and chill several hours. Whip the cream and spread over filling when ready to serve.

Share on Facebook

A REAL star‐totin’ U.S. Marshal reached Fremantle in the liner Orcades. He’s Mike Kelly (24), of Ithaca, New York State. Kelly said that he had been a marshal since he was 18 years old. His father, who had been a marshal for 25years, influenced him into becoming a provisional marshal when a job fell vacant and he continued in the position. In his spare time, Kelly said, he picked up his B.A. at university and formed his own twist band which won a national inter‐collegiate twist bond competition and later went on to record a big seller.

Share on Facebook

By MARK SAUER
Staff Writer, The San Diego Union

Divorce — American style — is insanity, attorney J.  Michael Kelly contends, and he is fiercely determined to change the system.

Likening himself to Columbus setting out to prove the world isn’t flat, Kelly insists that any divorce can be handled amicably, fairly and “with the same dignity with which the marriage was entered into.”  Kelly even has a trademarked name for his approach — “Positive Divorce.” And he makes those wishing to hire him first agree in writing with his philosophy or he invites them take a hike.

“Simply stated, Positive Divorce is the you and me  approach as opposed to the you or-me approach,” the Los Angeles attorney said here yesterday.

The self-styled evangelist of Positive Divorce has traveled the state and the country spreading his gospel of change to bar associations and lay groups. (He is in San Diego to address 3,000 participants in the national convention of Parents Without Partners at the Town and Country Hotel. The lecture is closed to the public.) In his lectures, Kelly insists a system whose byproduct is usually bitterness — and where only attorneys win, in the form of higher fees for drawn-out cases — must be changed.

“The general attitude about divorce seems to be: ‘It was horrible; the lawyer did it to me; I hate my spouse; I will never get married again.’ That’s the fallout, the wreckage of the process the way it’s done now,” said Kelly.

Too often, divorce procedures begin with a marshal showing up at the office to serve papers and notify a father that he can’t see his kids but twice a month and can’t go near the house, Kelly said. “Now, how do you think things are going to go from there? The idea that you’re going to be tough just generates a lot of legal fees.”

The Positive Divorce approach is a step-by-step process.

It begins with an agreement on the ground rules, which the client must sign, and follows with a series of letters to the spouse and his attorney declaring that Kelly’s intention is to be friendly, to smooth out differences of opinion, minimize emotional stress and grief and to work out a fair settlement and allow both parties to get on with their lives. ‘And when you put this delicate relationship into a cold, impartial litigation process that best serves IBM vs. General Telephone, it’s insanity.’ ‐ J. Michael Kelly

If the opposing attorney is unwilling to cooperate, Kelly said, he has an array of legal means by which to shift fees to the other side by documenting to the court that he made an effort to minimize cost by avoiding needless motions and delays.

Before he is through working a case, Kelly said, he also contacts family ministers, psychiatrists (especially in child-custody cases), tax accountants, appraisers, vocational counselors, medical doctors and other attorneys. That can often mean additional fees, he says, but can mean big savings in the long run since money will be spent on advice about job training or economic decisions to protect community property rather than on battling attorneys.

“Somewhere in our judicial history, divorce slipped into the litigation system,” Kelly contends, “a system that was not designed to handle it. These aren’t two arm’s-length people deciding to break up a business partnership; ‘it’s lovers, perhaps people who have produced children together. “And when you put this delicate relationship into a cold, impartial litigation process that best serves IBM vs. General Telephone, it’s insanity.”

When two lawyers argue, the community property suffers at the rate of $300 per hour, Kelly said. “When lawyers litigate, good ones charge about $1,000 a day in court, so that’s $2,000 a day in court. If custody is involved, add the cost of two psychiatrists — that’s $4,000 a day in court. It doesn’t end there. “So you’re burning up $4,000 a day or more where if a compromise could have been reached, none of that would have had to have been spent. People don’t realize that when they’re grappling with their rage.”

Kelly, a former U.S. Marine who has been an attorney for 16 years and does divorce cases almost exclusively, said he had his first divorce case in 1970.

“It was a 2 1/2-year custody battle that had dragged through courts in three states. What I saw was that there was not much left of the child at the end. What was left was a human being whose idea of marriage and love was litigation and lawyers. I saw then that things had to change.”

Kelly, who handles about 20 divorces each month, said the divorce rate in California is about 60 percent. “We are a throwaway society, we throw away razors and go through cars in two years and we throw away marriages.

“I’m not promoting divorce; the first thing I urge clients to do is see a counselor before making up their minds to divorce. We get a lot of reconciliations. But I want to promote a solution to an individual’s problem. And if divorce is the solution, then why not have it be a positive thing, even a growth experience?”

Custody battles and long arguments can quickly knock $20,000 or $30,000 out of the community property, Kelly said, and that’s money that could have been spent for kids’ tuition or job-training or better housing.

“Now that’s something worth trying to figure out how to preserve. If the public does not know there is an alternative, they will think divorce has to be that way. I’d like to give people a chance to do something positive rather than promote meanness and smallness and revenge.”

For information or a free consultation contact James Moorhouse at Jmoorhouse@cfli.com
James Moorhouse- Public Relations Consultant
24/7:    (310)393-0236   ext. 111

Share on Facebook

Our head divorce attorney, Michael Kelly, will be on air and television on the Playboy Morning Show.  Tune in tomorrow to the Playboy T.V. morning show to hear how Michael Kelly has been helping Playboy bunnies legally for over 30 years.  He will be discussing the keys to keeping a strong marriage and how to survive divorce.

Michael Kelly has been a Family Law/Divorce Attorney in Los Angeles, California for over 40 years and has helped thousands of individuals through the divorce process.  As one of the top divorce attorney’s in the country he is always asked to make guest appearances on television and on radio.  Tomorrows appearance will be the first time Mr. Kelly appears on Playboy, so be sure to tune in tomorrow.

Where: The Playboy Morning Show

Air time: March 1st, 2012 at 9:00a.m.PST

Topic: How Michael has been “doing bunnies good” legally for 30 plus through the Centerfold Alumni Association & how to keep a marriage strong!

Link to the latest PlayboyTV.com episode: http://www.playboytv.com/video/THE-PLAYBOY-MORNING-SHOW-Full-Free-Episode

Web: PlayboyTV.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/PlayboyTV

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/PlayboyTV

Cyrus XM: Channel 102

Share on Facebook